We won't sleep together?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
