it was like his penis was on wheels.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
