i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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