Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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