her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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