so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
