There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
