now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
