The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
