i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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