i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
