You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
