Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
