OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
