i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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