but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
