where does the pee come out of this thing
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
