just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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