She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
