I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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