dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
