don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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