so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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