is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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