I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
