I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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