I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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