i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
