Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
