My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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