Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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