Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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