1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
