wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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