i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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