I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
