last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
