U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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