i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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