a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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