Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
