There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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