Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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