Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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