oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
