Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
