Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
