See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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