Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver

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(312): View more from Illinois

My room smells like vodka and shame

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.

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(613): View more from Ontario

you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

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(619): View more from California

After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?

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(207): View more from Maine

Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill

(860): View more from Connecticut

Wow. He is an expensive lay

(207): View more from Maine

I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment

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