my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im six kinds of drunk right now
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is the high leading the old right now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
