yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
