yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
