I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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